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Sunday, January 13, 2013

2013 Opening

Here's hoping that 2013 is a lot better than 2012. Aside from the LLS massacre, family problems have cropped up again. I spent the better part of December in Chicago - over two driving trips - sorting through some problems with my aunt. She has been like my mother since I was about fourteen (which is another story), giving me opportunities and support that otherwise may have left me in worse shape. My brother Jack reported that after several falls she'd developed dementia and after a rough episode had to be taken to the hospital. From there she was admitted to Lexington, a long-term care nursing facility, where she was given a room on the top floor with all the Alzheimer's patients. It was a shock to see her the first time. Only 72 buts looks 100. Frail and stooped, she was delusional; hallucinating and confused. It's especially depressing because you can't really have a conversation with her. She may think I'm someone else and lives in other worlds, as though her brain is firing off from memories or fantasies in arbitrary ways -- but not the here and now. So visiting her is a futile affair. She's slowly deteriorating, but in many ways it's like she's already dead. And that finality was driven home as I sorted through the house and her affairs. On the first trip I interviewed three real estate agents to put the house on the market, rented a dumpster to start throwing the accumulation of junk in the house, interviewed an estate sale firm, had the two cats put to sleep (very depressing, brought clothes to good will and spend hours sorting through financial papers and cleaning out closets and drawers. It was a physical and financial mess. I ended up spending about 10 days there on the first trip, but needed to get back from a job interview...which turned out to be a waste. The second, between the holidays, was primarily focused on getting my aunt's car for Christopher. During the first visit, my brother Jack - a very handy guy - installed new front brakes, changed spark plugs, the oil and other fluids. This second drive included Chris and two of his friends, Ellis and Alex, and we drove straight through to Lake Zurich in about 13 hours. That was a Thursday. The car still had several needs and on Friday morning I was determined to knock off as many as possible. And it turned out to be a day of productivity for the record books. First, I dropped it off at an interior detail shop (it stank and was filthy!), then drove to Secretary of State's office in Libertyville to get title and registration taken care of, then picked the car up and over lunch called to get insurance coverage. Then went to Best Buy to have a stereo installed - which had to be done at 4:00. So in the meantime we went to Mexico Muffler and Brakes (a real hoot!) which took care of exhaust problems in less than two hours; then back to Best Buy. The car was legal and pretty good to go, so Chris and his buddies went to visit his cousins in Evanston...and ended up staying there for the next four nights. His aunt Betsy was very patient and when I picked them up on New Year's day brought her some fruit and flowers. We stayed at the Smiths on the way back and had some other minor repairs done before we hit the road back to VA. Chris now has a car of his own to get to school and help us with transporting his brothers. I did some other clearing out of my aunt's house and will no doubt be going back at some point; if for a funeral if nothing else. The house is under contract, thank god, which means we'll have to arrange an estate sale pretty soon. Hopefully that will not require my return, but who knows.